My friend Suz has a gift: she asks the deepest, craziest, most brilliant questions. These questions are so probing and precise, they always leave you shaking your head thinking "Why didn't I think of asking myself that before? I need to search my heart about this!"
A few weeks ago, we were sitting in Panera sipping iced tea and making favors for her upcoming wedding when she dropped the question. It came out of nowhere, hidden in the midst of our usual talk about our lives, our hardships, our dreams.
"What is the one thing that you have to have in order to be content with your life?"
Crap.
"Uhh...I don't know...?" I stammered. "Are you asking me what I need to be happy, or what I want for my life?" I asked.
"What is it that you have to do or have in order to feel like you've fulfilled your life's purpose? What do you desire for your life?"
Double Crap.
I thought I was going to banter and shrug my way through this one, wracking my brain for something deep and eloquent. Suddenly, though, I had the answer, and it came without trying.
"Well...um...I think this word gets used to much, but I want to have an 'EPIC life.' I want a romantic life, and I don't mean boy-girl-gushy-romantic. I want to live a life that could be an incredible story someday. I want to know that I did everything I could to bring glory to God and to help broken people. I want to help end the slave trade, and I want to write quality books that bring light to real issues. I don't need to be crazy wealthy or famous. Actually, the idea of a dull, safe life scares me to death. I want to be part of something great. How about you?"
"I think the same,"she replied. "I don't want a safe or normal life. I want to really live for God."
We talked about it for a few more minutes, and then moved on to another subject. Of course, that question was beating around in my brain all week. Then Sunday happened. Our church's new discipleship intern was speaking about "the podium". Like Olympians striving, training, bleeding, and straining for a glorious win, and to stand at the top of the medals podium, each of us is striving for something. So, what is YOUR podium, and do you love God enough to give it up if you have to?
Triple Crap!!!
This question wasn't going to go away, was it? What is it that I want for my life?
I've always choked this question back because it felt selfish.The truth is Jesus is my only true contentment, and my life is supposed to be lived for His glory! If I have Him, I don't need anything else. That's not a Sunday School Answer; its the truth. But this is more than a question of what I need to be happy. I am asking myself if God is tugging on my heart with HIS desire for my life, and what do I do with these dreams I have. Are they HIS dreams too?
So, I did some soul-searching to discover if the thing I wanted (an epic life) was really an idol, or was it what God wanted too. If this was about me and my glory, did I love God enough to give up my dream for His better one. What happened next has been a series of discovering myself, God's heart, human nature, and the desire in each of us to belong to something bigger and grander than we could have ever imagined.
This is going to be a three-part blog series, just FYI. Do you believe you were made for something bigger and better than the status quo? Do you desire more than anything to leave a mark on this earth for good? Do you watch movies and read books thinking to yourself, I wish this kind of stuff was real? If that is your heart, check back in this week, because we're going to talk about what it means to live the epic. I'll be referencing some great books on the subject, and bringing in wiser minds than mine to find some answers. See you back here on Tuesday!
P.S. Thanks Suz for your amazing questions and your heart. Can't wait to see you get married at the end of this week!
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